导语
有趣而又让人深思，这篇文章读起来像看好莱坞黑色幽默大片。把深刻的道理放到滑稽无比的极端比喻中。
When I was a child, I begged my parents for my very own Brother PT-1400 P-Touch Handheld Label Maker to fulfill all of my labeling needs. Other kids had Nintendos and would spend their free time with Mario and Luigi. While they pummeled their video game controllers furiously, the pads of their thumbs dancing across their joysticks, I would type out labels on my industrial-standard P-Touch with just as much zeal. I labeled everything imaginable, dividing hundreds of pens into Ziploc bags by color, then rubber-banding them by point size. The finishing touch, of course, was always a glossy, three-eighths-inch-wide tag, freshly churned out from my handheld labeler and decisively pasted upon the numerous plastic bags I had successfully compiled.
当我还是个孩子的时候，我恳求我的父母给我一个自己的 Brother PT-1400 P-Touch 手持式标签机来满足我所有的标签需求。
其他的孩子有任天堂游戏机，他们会和马里奥和路易吉一起度过空闲时间。
当他们疯狂地敲打他们的视频游戏控制器，他们的拇指垫在他们的操纵杆上跳舞时，我以同样的热情在我的工业标准 P-Touch 上输入标签。
我给所有可以想象的东西贴上标签，将数百支钢笔按颜色分到 Ziploc 袋子里，然后按笔尖的大小用橡皮筋将它们绑起来。
当然，画龙点睛的始终是一个有光泽的八分之三英寸宽的标签，它是刚从我的手持式贴标机中取出的，果断地被我贴在我成功收拾好的无数塑料袋上。
Labeling became therapeutic for me; organizing my surroundings into specific groups to be labeled provides me with a sense of stability. I may not physically need the shiny color-coded label verifying the contents of a plastic bag as BLUE HIGHLIGHTERS—FAT, to identify them as such, but seeing these classifications so plainly allows me to appreciate the reliability of my categorizations. There are no exceptions when I label the top ledge of my bookshelf as containing works from ACHEBE, CHINUA TO CONRAD, JOSEPH. Each book is either filtered into that category or placed definitively into another one. Yet, such consistency only exists in these inanimate objects.
贴标签对我有治疗作用；将我周围的环境组织成特定的组来标记，这让我有一种稳定感。
我可能不需要闪亮的颜色编码标签来验证塑料袋的内容为蓝色荧光笔 – 粗的，以识别它们，但如此简单地看到这些分类让我意识到我的分类的可靠性。
当我将书架的顶部壁架标记为包含 ACHEBE、CHINUA TO CONRAD、JOSEPH 的作品时，没有例外。
每本书要么被过滤到该类别中，要么被明确地归入另一个类别。
然而，这种一致性只存在于这些无生命的物体中。
Thus, the break in my role as a labeler comes when I interact with people. Their lives are too complicated, their personalities too intricate for me to resolutely summarize in a few words or even with the 26.2 feet of laminated adhesive tape compatible with my label maker. I have learned that a thin line exists between labeling and just being judgmental when evaluating individuals. I can hardly superficially characterize others as simply as I do my material possessions because people refuse to be so cleanly separated and compartmentalized. My sister Joyce jokes freely and talks with me for hours about everything from the disturbing popularity of vampires in pop culture to cubic watermelons, yet those who don’t know her well usually think of her as timid and introverted. My mother is sometimes my biggest supporter, spouting words of encouragement and, at other instances, my most unrelenting critic. The overlap becomes too indistinct, the contradictions too apparent, even as I attempt to classify those people in the world whom I know best.
因此，当我与人互动时，我作为标签师的角色就会中断。
他们的生活太复杂，他们的个性太复杂，我无法用几句话或与我的标签制造商兼容的 26.2 英尺覆膜胶带坚决概括。
我了解到，在评估个人时，标签和武断之间存在一条细线。
我很难像描述我的物质所有物一样简单地描述他人，因为人们拒绝如此干净地被分开或归为某类。
我姐姐乔伊斯可以开玩笑和我聊了几个小时，从流行文化中令人不安的吸血鬼到西瓜块，但不了解她的人通常认为她胆小内向。
我的母亲有时是我最大的支持者，她会说鼓励的话，有时却又是我最无情的批评者。
重叠变得太模糊，矛盾太明显，即使当我试图对世界上我最了解的人进行分类也会如此。
Neither would I want others to be predictable enough for me to label. The real joy in human interaction lies in the excitement of the unknown. Overturning expectations can be necessary to preserving the vitality of relationships. If I were never surprised by the behaviors of those around me, my biggest source of entertainment would vanish. For all my love of order when it comes to my room, I don’t want myself, or the people with whom I interact, to fit squarely into any one category. I meticulously follow directions to the millimeter in the chemistry lab but measure ingredients by pinches and dashes in the comfort of my kitchen. I’m a self-proclaimed grammar Nazi, but I’ll admit e. e. cummings’s irreverence does appeal. I’ll chart my television show schedule on Excel, but I would never dream of confronting my chores with as much organization. I even call myself a labeler, but not when it comes to people. As Walt Whitman might put it, “Do I contradict myself? / Very well, then I contradict myself, / (I am large, I contain multitudes.).”
我也不希望其他人有那样的可预测性供我标记。
人际交往的真正乐趣在于未知的兴奋。
推翻期望对于保持关系的活力可能是必要的。
如果我永远不会对周围人的行为感到惊讶，我最大的娱乐来源就会消失。
尽管我对房间的秩序非常热爱，但我不希望自己或与我互动的人完全属于任何一类。
我在化学实验室中一丝不苟地按照毫米级的指示进行操作，但在我舒适的厨房里通过捏和撒来测量成分。
我自称是语法纳粹，但我又承认卡明斯的不相关确实很有吸引力。
我会在 Excel 上绘制我的电视节目时间表，但我做梦都做不到我的家务活如此井井有条。
我甚至称自己为标签员，但说到与人相关时却不是。
正如沃尔特·惠特曼 (Walt Whitman) 所说，“我自相矛盾吗？/很好，那么我自相矛盾，/（我很大，我很多。
）”
I therefore refrain from the temptation to label—despite it being an act that makes me feel so fulfilled when applied to physical objects—when real people are the subjects. The consequences of premature labeling are too great, the risk of inaccuracy too high because, most of the time, not even the hundreds of alphanumeric digits and symbols available for entry on my P-Touch can effectively describe who an individual really is.