一，生活不止眼前的苟且 还有前任的喜帖
Life is not only in front of you, but also the wedding invitation of your predecessor
二，跟我混吧，以后我有一口饭吃，就有你一个碗刷。
Mix with me, after I have a bite to eat, you have a bowl brush.
三，经常被自己蠢哭，又不舍得揍自己.
I am often stupid to cry, and I am not willing to beat myself.
四，不擅长早期 却贼会晚睡
Not good at the early days, but thieves go to bed late
五，别人琴棋书画样样精通我就厉害了煎炒烹炸啥啥都行
I am very good at other people's chess and calligraphy, and I am very good at frying and cooking
六，我优点那么多唯一不足的就是余额不足
I have so many good things. The only thing missing is balances
七，今年我决定走走复古路线，穿去年的衣服，不是因为没钱 我只是怀旧
This year I decided to take the retro route and wear last year's clothes, not because I have no money, I am just nostalgic
八，头那么疼，一定是有人在榨取我的智慧
The head hurts so much, someone must be squeezing my wisdom
九，一把年纪还这么可爱，我真是个罪人
At such a lovely age, I'm a sinner
十，如果生活出卖了我，那我希望是论斤卖
If life betrayed me, then I hope it is selling
十一，找个胖女朋友不好吗。花同样的钱你挑了个最大的
Isn't it good to find a fat girlfriend. For the same money, you picked the biggest one
十二，像我这么冲动的人，就应该被人狠狠打一笔钱冷静一下
An impulsive person like me deserves a good beating. Calm down
十三，今天竟然没人祝我生日快乐 大概因为今天不是我生日吧
No one wished me a happy birthday today, probably because it's not my birthday
十四，路过奶茶店看见一对情侣在接吻 真的好羡慕 我也想喝奶茶
Passing by the tea shop to see a couple kissing is really envious, I also want to drink milk tea
十五，道理我懂，但是就是不喜欢讲
I understand the reason, but I just don't like to talk about it
十六，没有什么困难是战胜不了我的
There is no difficulty that can not defeat me
十七，有人问我朋友圈为什么仅三天可见，我说因为我不能保证每张自拍都P得一样。I was asked why Circle of Friends was only visible for three days, and I said because I can't guarantee that every selfie will be P the same.
十八，满脑子的智慧 硬生生的撑大了我的脸
The wisdom in my head stiffened my face
十九，发呆这事，如果干得好，叫深沉，如果干的不好……容易睡着
In a daze, if you do well, call it deep, if you don't do well, it's easy to fall asleep
二十，知道什么是可以触摸的痛苦吗？就是我觉得肚子饿扁了一摸还是有一坨肉
Do you know what is touchable pain? It's just that I feel hungry and flat, and I still have a lump of meat
二十一，出生的时候上帝问我是要记性好还是要长的漂亮我已经忘了
When I was born, God asked me if I wanted to have a good memory or to be beautiful. I've forgotten
二十二，你们喜欢我吗 喜欢的话就呼吸
Do you like me? Breathe if you like
二十三，管他网不网红 到了峡谷还得挨打
I don't care if it's red. I have to get beat up when I get to the Canyon
二十四，我也没遇见谁啊？过年打麻将老输！可无语！
I haven't met anyone either? Playing mahjong in the New Year is always losing! Kewuyu!
二十五，我长得这么漂亮首先得感谢我爸妈 要不是他们给我一双巧手 我能把自己p的这么美吗
I look so beautiful, first of all, I have to thank my parents, if they did not give me a pair of clever hands, I can put their own p so beautiful
语录网网友观点：经常被自己蠢哭，又不舍得揍自己.
I am often stupid to cry, and I am not willing to beat myself.,知道什么是可以触摸的痛苦吗？就是我觉得肚子饿扁了一摸还是有一坨肉,