人的本性是想被人喜欢和认可，因此疯狂地追求从众。但你可以用心去做，不再去在乎，让自己自由。这是一种需要练习的技能，就像其他技能一样。一旦你真正懂得如何放手，你就会从一个完全不同的角度看待这个世界。
很明显，做个好人没什么错。但是，执拗的想做好人的渴望是危险的，原因有很多。如下：
1. You suppress your emotions
Inevitably, wanting to be loved and needed by others all the time results in suppressing tons of uncomfortable emotions. I'm talking rage, hatred, bitterness, annoyance, grief and stress—anything that is contrary to the altruistic image you crave to portray. You might not even be conscious of repressing these types of emotions.
1.你压抑自己的情绪
不可避免的是，一直想被别人爱和需要会压抑很多不舒服的情绪。我说的是愤怒、仇恨、痛苦、烦恼、悲伤和压力——任何与你渴望描绘的利他主义形象背道而驰的东西。你甚至可能都没有意识到你正在压抑这些类型的情绪。
Suppression of emotions eventually results in physical or psychological breakdowns. Many chronic mental and physical illnesses are fueled by the neurotic desire to please others.
压抑的情绪最终会导致身体或心理上的崩溃。许多慢性精神类疾病和生理疾病都是由执拗的取悦他人的欲望所推动的。
2. Extreme pressure to "keep up appearances"
One of the worst things about constantly being nice is the extreme pressure you feel to constantly maintain your self-image. It feels good to avoid negative feelings and get the spotlight for being a saint.
2.保持自我形象带来的巨大压力
一直做好人最糟糕的一点就是你不断保持自我形象所感受到的巨大压力。避免负面情绪，让自己成为圣人而受到感觉很好。
But this addiction comes at a price: chronic stress. Often that stress is imperceptible, but it's always there, always demanding that you keep your mask strapped on even though it might be suffocating you.
但这种上瘾是有代价的：长期的压力。这种压力通常是无法察觉的，但它一直存在，总是要求你戴着面具生活，即使这样可能会让你窒息。
3. People use you
When you're a people-pleaser you open yourself up to abuse. Narcissists, energy vampires, bullies and other types of wounded people are drawn to you like fresh meat. Having weak boundaries, low self-esteem and the insatiable desire to please makes you the perfect "use and abuse" target. And unconsciously, you like feeling needed and wanted, so you unwittingly continue the toxic cycle.
3.人们利用你
当你设法做一个讨人喜欢的人时，你就容易受到虐待。
自恋者、能量吸血鬼、恶棍和其他类型的受伤者就会像看见鲜肉一样被你吸引。
如果你再有脆弱的界限、低自尊和贪得无厌的取悦人的欲望，这就使你成为完美的"被利用和滥用"目标。
不知不觉中，你就会喜欢这种被需要的感觉，所以也就不知不觉地继续着这种"有毒的"循环。
4. You have the intense need to be in control
At first, people-pleasing might come across as a selfless act. But people-pleasing is actually a selfish act because you're trying to control someone else's reaction towards you by behaving in a certain way.
4.你强烈地想要控制
起初，取悦别人可能会被认为是一种无私的行为。但取悦别人实际上是一种自私的行为，因为你试图用某种特定的方式来控制别人对你的反应。
In fact, people-pleasing is more about the desire to be in control than it is to please other people. Wanting to be liked by others is just a symptom of the desire to be in control because deep down you feel powerless or worthless. This is why people-pleasing is so exhausting—it goes against the flow of life, and takes so much effort to maintain.
事实上，取悦别人更多的是想控制自己，而不是取悦别人。想要被别人喜欢只是想要控制自己的一种表现，因为内心深处你感觉自己无能为力或毫无价值。这就是为什么讨人喜欢是如此令人精疲力尽的原因——它违背了生命的流动方向，需要付出太多的努力来维持。
5.No one really knows the"true"you
Keeping so much locked inside of you for fear of being disapproved of makes you extremely guarded. In fact, if you're a people-pleaser you might fear for instance, getting drunk, because all of the secret thoughts and opinions you have might come to the surface. In other words, you'll no longer be in control of yourself.
5. 没有人真正了解那个"真正的"你
因为害怕被人否定而把好多事情埋在心里，这会让你非常小心。事实上，如果你是一个设法讨人喜欢的人，你可能会害怕，比如喝醉，因为你所有的秘密想法和意见可能会浮出水面。换句话说，你将不再能控制自己。
当你是一个想讨人喜欢的人时，没有人真正了解真实的你——他们只知道你给他们呈现出的外表。不幸的是，这种渴望被爱和认可的愿望往往适得其反，随着时间的推移，你会感到更加孤独和被孤立。最终，你会感觉自己更不显眼和不被重视，即使你总是在聚光灯下。
语录网网友观点：人的本性是想被人喜欢和认可，因此疯狂地追求从众……,